


Runaway Groom

by aliyssaa



Category: Black Veil Brides, Palaye Royale (Band)
Genre: Closeted Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Breakdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:21:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27292633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliyssaa/pseuds/aliyssaa
Relationships: Andy Biersack/Remington Leith
Kudos: 10





	Runaway Groom

Using a made up character for this - Jade, the woman Remington is too marry. Yes, it's another closeted rem and confident Andy, what u gonna do about it?  
Trigger warning: Mentions of suicide, depression.   
Andy isn't in it until later on but it;s so worth the wait, i promise.   
This is so long wth 

Waking this morning brings confusing emotions to Remington. He sits up and looks over at Jade, wonders why he never feels a real connection to her, why he never enjoys being intimate like he should. 

The singer slides out of bed. He quietly leaves the room and locks himself in the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror. "You can do this," he whispers, "it's fine. You're gonna get married. You're gonna be happy. It's gonne be fine." Remington splashes his face with water. "It's fine," he repeats, and opens the door. 

Jade leaves soon after she wakes to get ready at her best friend's place. Remington is thankful for that. It gives him time to calm himself and push away these stupid feelings. He looks at the suit hanging up. It's too formal for him, too plain, too...

Too straight. 

Remington shakes his head. What the fuck? Why must his brain fuck with him, and now of all times? He rubs his eyes. 24. He's 24 (yes, ik, he's rlly 26, this is for story purposes). It's normal to get married at 24. Right? He's young. It's okay to marry young. Shows he's confident in the relationship, right? Or is it the other way round? Would it show confidence if they didn't marry? God, it's so confusing. 

Taking the suit off the hanger, Remington lays it on the bed, smooths it out to occupy his anxiety somehow. Maybe this is a mistake. No! He shakes his head again. 

The outfit makes him feel dull when he looks in the mirror. He should have said he didn't like it at the taylor's. The colour doesn't do anything for his skin tone and the cut doesn't accentuate his body, not like he knows certain clothes can. Remington knows he has a nice body; he's worked hard on it. So why should he hide it all away in this on the day that is supposedly his most important? God, he would so much prefer to be running around on a stage, sweaty and singing, than wearing this. 

Is it the suit that makes him feel bad or is it something else? Maybe makeup will help, he decides, and takes the suit off so he doesn't get anything on it. He finds his small makeup bag and goes back into the bathroom, doing everything with precision and care. Is red eyeshadow too bright for a wedding? How about eyeliner? And is it unnaceptable to wear lipgloss or highlighter if he's a man? Fucking hell, this is confusing. 

"It's fine," he says again, skipping the lipgloss and the eyeshadow and the eyeliner, and then, in the end, wiping it all of and putting his head on the side by the sink in momentary defeat. "This is stupid," he mumbles, lifting his head after a minute and zipping up the makeup bag, having spent half an hour and ended up in the same place as an hour ago. 

Remington goes down to have something for breakfast. He makes coffee and toast and picks up a birthday card he got from Andy, a friend since he moved here with Jade, nearly four years ago. Andy's the only person he ever got close to in this town despite Jade. The man resonates with him. He's confident, something Remington wishes he could be more of. And he knows himself. It's obvious. Remington remembers when Andy told him he was gay a month or so after they started hanging out a lot. He said it so casually, as though he knew that homophobes would hate him whatever and that he shouldn't be scared. Remington admires him. He wishes he could be him. Or be...

Or be with him. 

No! Stop it! He puts the card down and finishes his breakfast before going back upstairs. "Fucking idiot," he whispers angrily to himself, "you get so fucking worked up. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Remington decides to have a quick shower. Perhaps he can wash all of this away and not have to deal with it at all. The water is soothing until it reminds him of tears and then he sits against the wall and cries into his hands for five minutes, not even knowing why. He turns the shower off and wraps a towel around himself, sitting on the bed and closing his eyes for a second. Again, he says, "it's fine," as though it will help, and puts the suit on again, even though it makes him feel ugly and tied down and not like himself. He wants his latex pants, his jumpsuit, yellow tartan trousers, see through shirts, bright red eyeshadow, pink lip gloss, skirts, studded chokers. He wants himself back, and what if...

What if he's not himself with Jade? 

No! "Remington, shut the fuck up!" He shouts at the mirror, "you fucking idiot! What is wrong with you? Pull it together!" 

His phone buzzes. It's his brother reminding him the wedding starts in two hours. He screams at the phone and sinks to the ground, not understanding why he's getting all these emotions and not liking them at all. Marriage was supposed to fix it all, he thought. Supposed to make it obvious to everyone that he's happy with her, that he loves her. Marriage was supposed to help because he needs help and perhaps he should have admitted that when his brother begged him to get help a few years ago, after he tried overdosing. He said he was fine, no one needed to worry. Then he met Jade and he felt better. Well, he felt better a few months after meeting her, anyway, when they moved here. 

When he met Andy. 

"Oh no," Remington whispers, "oh no, you idiot!" He screams into his hands. What the fuck is he supposed to do now? 

After a few minutes of screaming until he can't breathe, Remington gets up. In the kitchen, he finds a pair of scissors, brings them down onto the suit and cuts it off himself, throwing the pieces of fabric around the room and, again, screaming. Chairs end up kicked over, drawers pulled out and thrown, the contents littering the ground like some fucked up death trap. Everything in the fridge is smashed up and flung at the windows and the walls. Remington has never felt so out of control in his life. 

His brother messages again. He's outside. Remington runs up the stairs and pulls on his jumpsuit because it's easy to put on and darts out of the back door without shoes on. He runs down the street and keeps running until he's out of town, only stopping and sitting down on a grassy hill in the country side when he knows no one will find him. 

He had to escape. He just had to. Marriage won't ever help if the problem is with that very thing. He can't marry Jade. He can't marry anyone who's a woman. He realises it now, why he's been so unhappy these past years, why he feels better around Andy, why he only ever feels free when she's not around. 

It's because he's gay and he knows it now. 

His phone is ringing. It has been for a few minutes. It's his brother. Remington doesn't answer. He takes the chance to lie back and enjoy the calm midday sun because he seems to forget these simple pleasures. The singer can picture his brother; panicking because he's gone and the kitchen is a mess. It's clear he had a breakdown and he hopes Sebastian can work out why so he doesn't have to explain it. 

"Something's wrong," Sebastian is saying to someone on the phone, "he's trashed the kitchen. Like...comepletely trashed it. There's ice cream on the ceiling." The person he's talking to asks where he is. "I don't know!" Sebastian shouts, stressed. "Don't you have a go at me for not getting him to his wedding on time! He's my fucking brother and I need to fucking find him! Tell everyone to fucking wait and stop harrasing him. He's obvioulsy not doing okay and that's what I care about right now. No! I don't give a shit about the time slots! I don't care! Why am I shouting? Why am I shouting! Because my fucking brother just had a fucking breakdown the morning of his wedding and last time I found his place trashed it was because he was trying to overdose! Good fucking bye!" 

Remington is peaceful now, away from the suit and the house and her things everywhere. He watches birds in the sky and unzips his jumpsuit, slipping his arms out and lying half naked on the grass, not caring if people see. His phone is ringing again. It's one of Jade's bridesmaides so he hangs up without answering, knowing he should let someone know he isn't dead, and so calls Andy. "Please don't tell anyone I'm calling," is what he opens with. 

"Where the hell are you?" Andy asks, just worried that the only person he's ever felt attatched to might be hurt. 

"I had to get away, it was too much. I'm not marrying her, I can't." 

"Are you okay?" 

"I don't know, Andy, I'm guessing not. I tried, okay? I tried to be normal and have a wife and start a family but I can't do it because I don't want a wife. I made a mistake." 

"You sound crazy, Remington." 

The singer laughs. "I know. I feel crazy. If I tell you where I am will you come and not tell anyone? I just-I really need to just talk to you. Please? You're the only one who will understand." 

Andy slips out of the venue unnoticed thanks to the panic around him. "I'll come. Your brother's worried, y'know. He thinks you're killing yourself." 

"I'll text him or something. I just really can't have the whole wedding party rushing here, y'know? It's too much." He tells Andy where he is.

The man runs down the road. "I know, I get it. It's okay. We'll sort this out." 

"Thank you." 

Andy says it's okay again before hanging up and running the rest of the way to the meadow, opening the gate and spotting Remington's form in the grass. "Hey," he greets, sitting beside the younger, out of breath. "What happened to your suit?" 

Remington shrugs. "Cut it up." 

"Oh wow, that's a power move." 

"Thanks," the boy laughs. Only Andy would say that. 

"So...what's going on? Why'd you run away and trash your kitchen?" 

The only noise a for moment is the birds, until Remington answers. "I'm not happy with her, Andy. I thought she made me feel better but she doesn't. Because she's not..." 

Andy lies beside him. "She's not what?" 

"Nothing. Look, I know it's wrong and I'm ruining her life or whatever, but I couldn't go through with this and ruin my life. What was I supposed to do? Marry her and be stuck with someone I don't feel happy with until I die?" 

"Fuck no, never. You did the right thing. I mean...sure. You made it very dramatic and created a scene in the venue. You shoulda seen them all, I wanted to laugh. Anyway, my point is, if you're not happy in a relationship, no matter why, you gotta get out of there." 

Don't worry, Sebastian, I'm fine. Got overwhelmed and ran away. With someone safe, don't worry. Remington texts Sebastian. "I could never work out why she made me unhappy, y'know? She's a great person, I love her. But I don't love her. I don't get excited when we have sex, I don't look at her and wanna do all of that, y'know? Because she-she's not..." 

"She's not what?" Andy asks again. 

Remington shakes his head. 

"Not a man?" He looks at Remington as he says this. The boy tears up and looks away. "Look, Remington, sweetie, you can't force yourself to be with a woman if you wanna be with a man. It's not fair. There's nothing wrong with being gay and there's nothing wrong with coming out to someone you're in a relationship with. Jade will understand. Everyone will, okay? You know her. She's so understanding." 

"I just felt so trapped." 

Andy sits up. "You can't make yourself love a woman if that's not something you do naturally. And, hon, if you feel trapped in a relationship, it is not a healthy relationship for you to be in, no matter how nice she might be." 

Remington sits up, too. "I thought I could just deal with it." 

"I know. I get it. It's okay. You did the right thing and I'm glad you called me. I'm gonna help you with this, okay?" He takes the singer's hand, draws lines across his palm with his finger. "Come on, come back to mine. I'll make you something for lunch and you can calm yourself down. I'm not gonna make you see them all right now. You seem too fragile for that." 

"Thank you," Remington whispers, looking at his hand in Andy's. "I just want someone to make it all better." 

Andy kisses his hand. "You can't expect yourself to feel better if you're forcing things. I know it feels easier to do that than to tell everyone the truth but it doesn't feel good in the end." 

"I know that now," he mumbles. 

The older stands up, pulls Remington to his feet. "Let's just take this one moment at a time. Everything got too fast for you and we need to slow it down." 

"How'd you know so much?" 

Andy smiles, holding Remington's hand as they walk. "I'm a wise man." 

"Yes you are." 

They walk back to Andy's house quietly, hands holding the entiere time. When they get there, Andy unlocks the door and lets Remington is first, telling him to settle down on the couch. He makes them lunch from stuff in the fridge and joins Remington, sitting next to him. "What honestly makes you feel better, Remington? I know there's something, I've seen you come out of your shell when we're hanging out." 

Remington sighs. Is he about to say it? "It's you," he whispers, and then, "I think I love you."


End file.
